Thursday 5 April 2012

Dear Robots: Please Let Me Keep My Phone When You Take Over the World

This is me:



No.....actually, it's probably more like this:




I am bad at math. Really bad. A kind of bad that defies description. I once had a math teacher tell me "after you get this mandatory math credit, you probably shouldn't take math anymore." Not because he thought I was too stupid, but because he could see that it wasn't gonna catch on, and thought it would be better for me to take classes that would actually mean something to me. English, drama, history -- things that he knew would get me where I wanted to go.

When I was taking math, my calculator was my most-bestest friend. It still is. I use it for just about everything math-related. Even basic stuff, because I know as easy as it looks and as easy as it is for most people, my brain doesn't like numbers. I have a calculator app on my phone, and I use it at least half a dozen times a day.

I tell you all of that to get to this: I love technology, I think it is awesome, I use it as much as I can, and I hope we get more.

When I was in school and I would bring home math homework, I would use my calculator to do it. My grandparents thought that sucked. They would tell me "if you use that calculator, you'll never learn how to really do math." NEWSFLASH: I was never going to learn how to really do math. Never ever ever. When I try to put number in my brain, my brain barfs all the numbers out.



So for me, a calculator is my only option. Well, I guess technically there is one other option: not knowing what I need to know. Decision Time, Melanie -- you can use a horrible, unnatural, probably evil (according to my grandparents) calculator, or you can choose to not know if there is enough money in your bank account to cover rent, your car payment and that $25.00 shampoo you seem to think you need.

That's my argument when people tell me that technology is wrecking stuff. If it weren't for calculators (aka TECHNOLOGY) then I would be bouncing cheques and maxing out my credit card on a regular basis. Not all new stuff is bad. Eyeglasses were a new idea once. So was running water. So was chemotherapy.

The main issue seems to be anything computer-related. The Internet. Facebook. Twitter. Cell phones. Tablet computers. Google. I've heard people say Google makes people dumber. That's like saying encyclopedias make people dumber. Google is just an encyclopedia, only faster -- and I can get to it on my phone, instead of having to drive to the library. And let's not forget there was a time when there weren't any encyclopedias, either.

No encyclopedias = can't look up information, can't get smart.
Encyclopedias = CAN look up information, CAN get smart.
Google = really fast encyclopedia, can get smart even faster.



Some people think cell phones have made people lazy, or unable to get by without having their phone in their hand. My cell can do phone calls, texts, and emails. I can look up directions, use a calculator (YAY!), check the weather, read a book, listen to the radio, set a timer so my cupcakes don't burn, figure out how much of a tip to leave at a restaurant, save things to my calendar, watch a video of otters making out, find a recipe, play Angry Birds while I wait at the doctor's office, and make fart noises with an app I downloaded. So, yeah -- those people are right. I can't get by without my phone.

I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

Even something like Facebook and Twitter, which at first glance might seem like a waste of time or a "fake" world to some people -- I think they are both very important things. It's not just good for sharing information (whether it's silly pictures of cats or beautiful pictures of new babies) but it's a new way to interact with people. Years ago, if you couldn't be near your friends, you could only talk to them on the phone. Before that, you had to write a letter. Now, I can log on to my Facebook account and get in touch with my friends right that very second. I think that's amazing. Technology doesn't make people less human. It brings us so much closer together. I truly can't wait to see what the world comes up with next.

Or, I could be wrong. We could all be in the middle of a set-up by evil robots who are just waiting until they've lulled us into a false sense of technological security, so they can invade and force us to be their butlers. As long as they let me keep my phone, I don't really care.